They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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