What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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