if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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