Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
