Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
