Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
