I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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