i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Damn victory sex feels great
Shame - the story of my life.
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