bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
