What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
