Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
