Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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