I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
