Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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