if i can run in heels then i can drive
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
