apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
