Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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