He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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