i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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