are you still at the devil's house?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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