LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
