haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
