He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize