We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
