I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
My breath smells like gin and sadness
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
