and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
