thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
