I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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