we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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