scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
did i walk over a car last night?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Randomize
