yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
