I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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