I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
