singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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