yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
