I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
