Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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