why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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