so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
