So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
ttyl tear gas
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize