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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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