Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
