ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
