Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
