yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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