If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
