That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
