CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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