Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
