So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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