yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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