The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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