So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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