I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i now understand why vodka
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
