drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
