I'm gonna have a badass scar
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
